to be treated t as Anne-in-, and rim didnt understand t. Besides, I cant confide in anyone unless tell me a lot about ttle about  get on a more intimate footing. rim als like ting im- pulses, but o me as a friend, no matter ries. As a result, Ive never slook on life or my long-pondered t my diary and, once in a ely alienated myself from him.

    I couldnt  any ot myself be guided entirely by my feelings. It istical, but Ive done  for my o, plus to aco be subjected to criticism  may sound ed, but I cant take criticism from rim eit only do I never s ts  Ive pusable.

    t I t quite often:  rim annoys me so mucimes? I can o utor me, and ion seems forced. I  to be left alone, and Id ratil Im more sure of myself o ill torn  about tter I e . Os o be strong and brave in every way!

    . . .

    Still, t been my greatest disappointment. No, I t Peter muc , and not ted an image of ured , s, sensitive boy badly in need of friendso pour out my  to a living person. I ed a friend  out to do and dreo automatically developed into an intimacy t,  norageous. e talked about t private t  touc to my . I still cant make ail

    of Peter. Is  s  putting all t aside, I made one mistake: I used intimacy to get closer to  oto be loved, and I can see o like me more ime togetisfied, but just makes me  to start all over again. I never broacs I long to bring out into ter, more to get close to me, and no see any effective ing . I soon realized , but still tried to  of hful horizons.